Players are Born or Made?
Before creating this post, I faced three problems. One of which were mosquitoes that woke up and started to fuck me hard; the second – they hunt in groups, it’s fucking unreal; and the third reason is insignificant to mention it.
They say that to be a good player you must born as player, to be an ordinary player you may be made, but probably the year was awful, and I was born bad player, although, rather, fucked up player, it’s hard to be so fucked up as I am, but I succeeded. Since childhood the genes of excitement lived in me, and even before I learned to defecate without someone’s help I have already wanted to make money.
Ok, and what else should I do?
The classical village of Soviet times contributed to it, as well as the absence of any gadgets, only a branch from the tree, which could do a lot – picking in one shit, or, if you want, picking in another. I didn’t have any other choice. Some kind of prison in terms of entertainment. And what was the thing that saved us there? Probably cards, but it does not matter, if you add “for money” criterion to any game, there will be interest.
I remember it as it happened yesterday, I’m ten years old, the card game called “bura” is very popular. Men of our village played it night and day. Since they didn’t have money,they mostly played on cigarettes. People didn’t like to play on money at all, and when you play on cigarettes it’s just a game, nothing more. Bura is quite interesting occupation, both on the part of the viewer and of the player.
We played it too, only on matches. Matches are a great commodity for small motherfuckers. Matches are burning, matches are the god of fire – you can set sheds to fire and other junk. Fucking funny.
Once, I remember, I received 50 boxes of matches as a loan, at that time the figure was astronomical in the scale of my wallet, which by the way I didn’t have.
Actually, I experienced the first fucking game thing exactly as a 10 years old, the sensations were inexpressible. It’s ludomaniac, son, looks like it was worth considering such experience in the future, but no.
Then there was no time for all this shit and I started to love our school program. I was best at reading and at math. And I did not understand why I am among all these stupid bastards. Thank God with time I changed my mind, and decided to forget all this nonsense.
I also was engaged in numismatics, gathered ancient coins. Normal people were earning real money, and I collected historical rubbish. But thank God, the work was not in vain, the numismatics contributed to my financial well-being later. The collection was sold, and money was spent on alcohol, I’ll not hide it. Just for two days of fun and enough.
In those years, in Russia, many people had tons of Soviet rubles and kopecks – shit, which in essence did not have value at all, but a paradox, people didn’t want to give away money that lost value and were considered worthless. I don’t know what they expected, that the soviet shit would come back, and those kopecks would come in handy? And there was a myth that this money would be expensive in time, well, yeah, it happened. They cost as scrap.
I had a couple of cans of kopecks, and we played on them. I do not remember the name of a game. Yes, we were Vituses, spinned on candy wrappers, at times switching to real money, saved at school breakfasts, but more often stolen or found under the sofa. You can’t save much money on breakfasts, especially when you use coupons to get food.
Years went by, and so, being an adult guy of 14 years old, I actively played “hundreds”. This is a round shit with Pokemons and other evil spirits, which at a time gained popularity. Since my spinal cord was not the most stupid one, I quit this shit soon. At some point, I realized that there was no point in playing, and there was certainly no randomness in this crap, but many cheaters, so quit. Bullshit for small kids. I hate Pokemons.
Next, I’m 20, I have a car, I have money. I started playing real slot machines. It have gone badly. I played some 12 miserable years before I understood it’s bullshit, I quit, or rather I play online slot machines. I’m 30, have no car and no money too.
Along the way I was fond of guns, mostly traumatic. Since the legislative level had a limit on power of gun, we made them more powerful by hands, it was interesting to measure the numbers of guns power on the forums, shoot all sorts of cans, pieces of wood, etc. This disease has been cured by the purchase of a normal firearm, which can take the soul out of any motherfucker, no matter what powerful armor he has.
More than 15 years I jerked at the numbers in sports. Stupid records – to pull up the weight, to pull the bar. I don’t want to write my statistics and numbers, you won’t believe it, but I was a champion.
I started playing poker. Lost a tens of thousands dollars and finally broke my laptop, and with it the prospect of becoming a PRO, sent it all to fuck away.
Whatever rationally-economical you are, even if you appreciate money and time, in gambling it does not work. With all rationalism, the more you lose, the stronger you are beaten by depression, because of the time and money thrown out. I envy those who can part with money easily. Although, I became such a person myself. Two days are enough for me to forget the loss of any amount.
There are people who are gamblers, there are people who are not. The ludomania levels are defined by many parameters – the level of testosterone, greed, adrenaline. Perhaps the geography of birth too. If you were born in a wealthy family in some Moscow, you could become a banker, and if you could not realize yourself in a naked field – spin slot machines. If you’re bored or want to have some rest – spin slot machines. To all questions there is only one answer – slot machines.
Of course, gambling reflected on many aspects of life, somewhere it even has brought immense benefit, but the casino sphere is clearly the wrong choice of the Jedi. The dark side, really.
I can be accused of a mathematical mindset, but it’s not like that. I avoided algebra and geometry in every way. Ludomaniacs are people who are interested in figures, that’s why they are chasing after them. Instead of jerking off on figures, it’s better to don’t give a fuck and not to look for a special fetish. It’s some special, street magic. I was interested not in the safety of funds, but in their amount.
And that was my mistake. Numbers on the screen of my notebook, are not they te indicator of my success? I wanted to win a lot, because it’s one thing to raise a weight, and another – to raise money.
Well, we stand on the border, tired of slot machines, what else remains on the line? Financial pyramids, mutual funds, exchanges, bets? Well, fuck you, live your life because there is no time for such nonsense, death is not far away, there is a handful of years, they would not be prosecuted. In the end, I’m not such an advanced moron. Gambling is bullshit, the numbers mean nothing in life. Thank you for your attention, meet you in hell.